You get too much sun… you peel. And there’s nothing wrong with peeling. But the itching, oh, that’s awful. But the peeling, as long as you can reach it. Thumbs up.
— Jerry Goldberg
The time will come when it’s considered ok by whoever for you to never wear underwear around the house. To never wear underwear when you’re sleeping. You’ll wear a very long, very comfortable shirt. This time that will come will come at about 35 years old. And you will notice around this same time, that you may have the knack, the eye, for jewelry.
— Jerry Goldberg
If you’re gonna eat in my bed, use a towel.
— Jerry Goldberg
The worst kind of bloody nose? The kind you get in the shower.
— Jerry Goldberg
You ever get out of bed, get in the shower, and loose change that was stuck to your skin falls off your body?
— Jerry Goldberg
I hope Bush gets a talk show.
— Jerry Goldberg
I had a dream where I had dinner with Barry Switzer and Jimmy Johnson. And things are going well. Good food, good conversation. Pretty great dinner. And then right before I wake up, at the end of the dream, and you tell me what to make of this, I think it’s Switzer who says to me ‘you wanna know the meaning of life?’ And here’s what he says, ‘football.’
— Jerry Goldberg
Never put your hand inside a dog’s mouth. I don’t care how kind and cute the thing is. How soft the fur is, how sweet the little eyes on the thing are. You don’t know what’s going on in a dog’s mind! A dog might have a flashback, or a random angry thought. And then you’re in trouble. Or it’s mind crosses for that split second, and your fingers is foods to it for that split second. You don’t want your hand in a dog’s mouth, cause you never know whats going on inside its dog’s brain.
— Jerry Goldberg
Yeah you can do that you piece of garbage.
— Jerry Goldberg